"The Ramblings of Marco Polo: Tales of a Wandering Know-It-All" (Excerpt from Chapter: Suzhou)

Marco Polo reclined lazily in the small, wooden boat, the warm breeze over Suzhou's Grand Canal gently ruffling his beard. He gazed at the serene waters, now sparkling with the reflections of ancient willows and elegant pagodas. With the practiced air of an authority on all things foreign, he began to recite his well-worn tale to the lady guiding the boat. "Ah, Suzhou," he sighed dramatically, "a city most noble and magnificent. Silk flows here as freely as the waters beneath us, and the people—ah, the people! Merchants of incalculable wealth, philosophers of profound wisdom, and craftsmen of such skill they could weave dreams into reality." His voice grew louder with each grand proclamation, oblivious to the ever-deepening sighs of his companion.

The lady, whose name Marco had not bothered to ask, paddled along with the monotonous rhythm of one who had heard it all before. Her thoughts drifted not to the splendors of the city but to the ache in her arms from rowing this self-important foreigner across the canal. "Six thousand bridges, you say?" she muttered, her tone flat. "All of stone? And yet, not one of them seems high enough to keep my thoughts from drowning in your endless monologue." Marco, too lost in his own narrative, missed the sarcasm entirely. "Indeed!" he continued, "Bridges so lofty that two galleys could pass beneath them side by side! But alas, the people of Suzhou are traders, not soldiers. If only they had the spirit of warriors, they could conquer the world!"

As Marco continued his soliloquy, he reached into his robe to check the time on his prized pocket watch, a treasure he had acquired from a distant land. But in his enthusiasm, the watch slipped from his fingers and plummeted into the canal with a soft plop. For a moment, the great explorer was silent, his eyes wide with horror as he watched his beloved timepiece sink into the murky depths. "My watch!" he cried, leaping to his feet ungracefully, nearly capsizing the boat. "We must turn back! That watch is irreplaceable!" He turned to the lady, expecting immediate action, only to find her staring at him with a look that was anything but sympathetic.

The lady's patience, already worn thin by the endless rowing and Marco's incessant boasting, finally snapped. "You want me to turn back?" she said, her voice dripping with mock sweetness. "Why don't you row the boat, great traveler? Surely a man who has seen so much of the world can manage such a simple task." Marco blinked at her, uncomprehending at first, before stammering some half-hearted excuse about his noble lineage and the delicate constitution of his hands. The lady, however, had had enough. With a swift, practiced motion, she shoved Marco overboard, sending him splashing into the canal with all the dignity of a drenched cat.

As Marco flailed in the water, his once grandiose persona reduced to sputtering indignation, he gazed up at the lady, now smirking down at him from the safety of the boat. She couldn’t help but burst into laughter, the sight of the great Marco Polo floundering in the canal too amusing to resist. "My dear lady!" he called out, his voice now tinged with both desperation and a hint of playfulness. "Please, I beg of you, return to me! For surely, in this moment, I realize that it is not the watch I cherish most, but you, my fair companion!"

The lady’s laughter softened as she looked at Marco, dripping and helpless in the water. With a teasing smile, she leaned over the side of the boat, her hair cascading down like a curtain. "You’re a ridiculous man, Marco," she said, still chuckling, "but I suppose even great explorers deserve a little mercy." And with that, she bent down to kiss him, her lips brushing his, the canal’s waters gently rocking beneath them.

But Marco, ever the adventurer, had one more trick up his sleeve. As she embraced him, he wrapped his arms around her waist and, with a mischievous grin, pulled her into the water with him. She screamed in surprise, but her laughter quickly returned as they both splashed in the canal, the ancient city of Suzhou bearing witness to their playful moment. The two of them floated there, entwined in each other's arms, the grandeur of the city now secondary to the joy of their unexpected connection.

Click here to Join Hailey as she guides us through the fabled Suzhou Grand Canal on a virtual boat tour.